NBA Legend Shaquille O’Neal gets Stuck in a Tight Squeeze

Well hello again, friends. Fake News on the way! Well, I mean, it could happen technically… Just read on. You’ll see…

Within the past couple of years, there has been a growing interest in the world of “Tiny Houses”. These homes are appealing because of cost efficiency, cozy atmosphere, and the ability to turn away annoying guests due to room restriction. “I literally sleep in my kitchen/bathroom/living room..so hell no, you cant stay here.” These quaint little homes can be a wonderful independent living space. And a pure nightmare for big and tall people…

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Time to get to the beef of this story. Being as lucky and resourceful as I am, I was able to stumble upon an archive of deleted footage from one of these Tiny House shows…My professional contact passed along some inside knowledge as to how to obtain this secret footage. After we finished dumpster divin…err…searching through archives, he returned to his custodian duties and I hurried home with my treasure. After a long shower in bleach, I settled in to examine this lost footage…

A lost episode of a Tiny House show…Hmm…not very interesting. Until I saw a familiar smile. One of my old heroes from the early 90’s..Shaquille O’Neal!

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Yes! Shaq, the gentle giant himself…He’s done it all. The most versatile man in the land. Backboard shattering beast of the NBA, Kung Fu master in the video game “Shaq Fu”, rhyme spitting rapper on “Shaq Diesel” (I gigged on em’), super hero “STEEL” on the big screen…you name it, Shaq has been there. Even now, he peddles a ton of different products and services on TV commercials. Curious to know why this footage was discarded, I delved deeper. Apparently, Mr. O’Neal was a guest star in this particular episode. The footage was raw, unedited and chopped up in places, but at one point a lot of screaming was coming from inside the house…I managed to catch a screen shot at a paused point…

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Shaq was painfully stuck inside of the house…I know not how he managed to get inside in the first place, but he sure as hell was in there, and not budging. From there the  footage gets shaky and damaged, but it appears as though some quick thinking saved the day. He had recently finished up another commercial for Icy Hot ointment and had a few tubes with him. Now, slathered up in the greasy yet cooling ointment, O’Neal was slowly sliding out of the tight door frame, like some sort of sickening scene from an 80’s horror movie. The tiny house groaned against the size of the beast attempting to push out of it and with a loud “POP” and a cloudy burst of Goldbond powder, Shaq flew forward like a large lawn dart and thudded into the dirt and grass in front of the house. He then got up, dusted off, and flashed his trademark smile. I could vaguely here a director yelling, “What the hell.. Cut! CUT!” as the film gave out, damaged beyond repair and now, lost forever…

So I’ve shared with you today, something that was, but will not be. That is the best that I can do, given the poor quality of the film and the fact that I lost all interest in it after about 10 minutes… I hope you enjoyed this story and appreciate the risks I took to bring it to you. The lesson we all learned today is obvious. You can’t fit a huge Shaq into a tiny shack.

If you enjoyed todays content, be sure to like, share and subscribe. Thanks for reading, gang. Fake News Nate, signing off. I’m not gonna say my catch phrase. You know it. If you don’t, go read a few of my other posts. You’ll catch on, kiddo.

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